Harper Voyager--I'm still alive??

Hello all of you out in the blogosphere!  Been a while.  I'm sure you've all missed me.  It's ok to admit it.  Your secret is safe with me!

I've probably mentioned it before (I'm too lazy to go back through my post archive and check) but my Urban Fantasy novel that should be coming out this spring has been around for a while.  I'd finished it sometime last spring and let it sit for a while before I pushed it on, I mean, asked some people if they'd like to read it.  It was in the hands of a few friends when I caught a blog post by the awesome Kim Harrison on FB.  She's published through Harper Collins and as it turned out, their e-book division, Harper Voyager, was having some type of 'unprecedented' open submission event.   Basically, it was open to anybody and everybody who's either self published or not published yet but felt they had something to put out into the world.  The guidelines were pretty simple:  you had until October 15 (I think?  Can't remember the exact date) to send your manuscript to them at which point, they'd have editors look at your product and ultimately decide if it was good enough for them to publish.  The deal wasn't a golden ticket.  There was no advance and it was only for ebooks, not physical copies.  But still.  Published?  Discovered?  Not having to pay for editorial services, cover art, formatting, AND having their advertising department behind your work?  It was worth a shot.

The friends who'd read it got it back to me about three weeks before the deadline with comments.  I decided that I was going to bust a gut to clean it up as best I could based on said comments and send it in.  What's the worst that could happen, right?  So, I fixed it and submitted it on October 13, 2012.

NOW, in the FAQs section, one of the questions was 'Will I hear back if my book has been rejected?'  Their answer was no.  "With the volume of submissions we expect, we simply will not have time to reply to every applicant.  Therefor, if you haven't heard from us in about four months, you can assume that your manuscript wasn't what we are looking for at this time."  Or something to that effect.

It's now roughly five months after-the-fact.  They haven't called me or emailed me saying that I blew the editors' knickers off and they would lie, cheat, steal, and kill to have me in their bullpen.  I sort of expected it.  The way they made it sound in the guidelines, it almost seemed as if they wanted super duper uber polished products that they could hit the ground running with.  Being I relied on a handful of comments from buddies and myself to fix any issues, I assumed a couple months ago that it wasn't for them.  That of course is why I sent it to more betas and went over the whole thing again, making it much more awesomer (I wish I could rewind time and send them the book as it is NOW back THEN.  But what can ya do?)

K.  We're all caught up!  

Anyway, last night I was talking to a buddy of mine who's an author.  She'd also submitted her self published book to HV during the open event.  Somehow, we got on the topic of it and she told me that they ARE sending out rejection letters.  I was like 'say whut?' and she was like 'like, really!'.  Turns out, despite what the guidelines said, they are sending out rejection letters and have been for a while now.  Something to the tune of 3200 or so have gone out.

Guess who hasn't gotten one yet.  ME!  Here I was thinking that no news is bad news, based on what I inferred from their website (it was pretty explicit, so I don't think I misunderstood) and it still may very well be.  I forget the exact figure but my buddy said the latest HV update said they still have about 700 that are in the process of 'not having been read yet or already read once and are to be  revisited'.  

So, what does this mean for me?  I'm sure they're going in the order the novels came in.  Not sure where I fall in there.  I got it in only a couple days before the deadline so it could just be a matter of mine being near the bottom of the stack.  If there were a lot of Johnny Come Latelies, it could be that they've already read it and are still considering it.  Either which way, it's nice to know that I WILL hear from them eventually, either way.  As of now, it's on the periphery of my consciousness, but I'm still moving forward with the betas, my cover guy, and the editor I hired to look at in about a week and a half from now.  My book WILL see the light of day not too far from now, that much I promise.  Whether it'll be under the HV imprint or self published on Amazon and Smashwords is another story.

In the meantime, I ain't banking on it but it's nice to know that out of those 3200 or so rejection letters, I ain't been one of them.   So, no news is just that: no news.  We'll see what we'll see ;)  

As an aside, I almost pulled an April Fool's joke on my author page in which I screamed from the rooftops that Harper Voyager liked my novel and brought me into the fold.  (I didn't do it because I thought it would be kind of mean to those still waiting or who've been rejected.  I'm not that much of a dick, although it probably would have been funny to poke some fun at myself when I revealed I was just spouting bullshit. ) 

Coincidence??  Most likely.  Self fulfilling prophecy?  A jinx on myself?  I don't believe in that shit, so I'll go with coincidence. 

Ok, you're blinded by my babble by now so I'll stop right here and now.  As always, thanks for dropping by!

Beta readers: the unsung heroes of the indie world

Welcome, you few, you proud, you unfortunate followers of Overly Verbose!  The only place on das interwebz where I talk about myself and only about myself!  Ok, maybe not so much, but hey, let's call a spade a spade here...I do tend to chatter on about yours truly an awful lot here.  BUT, I'm getting some web traffic, so I guess I haven't turned people off completely?  Or maybe it's like a train wreck; you just can't take your eyes offa it!  Anyway, enough with the lead in.  Let's get to the post, shall we?

As many of you may know (and for those of you who don't, you're gonna know in about a second here) I'd written a quasi-urban fantasy novel last year.  It's about a down and out medium named Seth.  He sees dead people.  He talks to dead people.  He likes tequilla and gyros and tends to spend a bit too much money on hookers.  He's also separated and is father to a 12 year old son.  Long story short, he saw something in high school and he's convinced himself he was mistaken.  Fast forward to his 32nd year on this, our planet Earth, and he takes on a case that may drive him back down the path of insanity.  When I'd written it, I had very little writing experience.  I'd written a book previously (which I do intend to get back to and edit/clean up/make more awesomer), as well as a couple short stories, one of which got published.  

So, how did my UF get written?  I had the idea for the character in my head and how the story was going to go and I just started writing.  With the prologue, I started the book near the 'end' and went from there, all the while having a general idea of where I was going.  No notes, no outline, no character sketches: it was all in my head.  I solved problems as I went and it seemed to work out.  Anyhoo, I let it sit and wrote Words With Fiends (which you really should buy cause it's gotten awesome reviews and people seem to dig it.  I think everyone should read it.  It's groovy in a far out way) and revisited it back in the fall of 2012.  I changed it up some, transforming a few story elements here and there, fixing up dialogue, cleaning it up.  

I let it sit some more.

I revisited it yet AGAIN a couple months back.  (Yes, I am getting to my point here.  The blog IS called OVERLY VERBOSE, so I tend to type a lot.)  When I revisited it, I worked furiously to make it even better.  For nearly three weeks I did nothing but go through it, tracking the changes, fine tuning it even more.  I realized that, when I'd written it, I had no idea what I was doing so it benefited from me having spent about a year at the keyboard.

And yet I still wasn't convinced that it was any good.  That's where beta readers come in.  For those of you who don't know what a beta reader is, they're basically a test audience.  They can be friends, acquaintances, readers, writers...anybody who's willing and has the time to give your material a read for you.  They take their FREE time and perform this service for us writers out of the goodness of their hearts.  Why?  Because they want to help.  They're  generous people who harbor a genuine fondness for writers, especially small time hoods like myself, and would like nothing more than to read a good book and see indies succeed.  **for the record, I've been a beta/proofer for three indie authors, one of whom is very successful right now.  I worked my nuts off to read and proof two of her books.  I did each one in a DAY, cause that's how I roll.  I will tell you this.  I may not be great at editing my own work, but I fucking smoke at going over other people's.  Confidence isn't my strong suit but any author types out there looking for a cold read/proofer? I'm your friggin' huckleberry.  I have the references to prove it. And I also know how much work it can be.**

I count myself lucky in that I've found a very good crop of beta readers.  During the writing of my Seth novel, I bounced ideas off of one of my best friends.  I had an idea?  I pitched it to him.  If it didn't work out, we'd talk about it until I solved the problem.  He was 'Beta Zero'.  After I'd gotten the thing written, I shipped it to about four other people.  They made comments.  I went back and changed it again.  After I'd gone through my uber editing a few weeks back, I shipped it off to yet ANOTHER five people.  Two have finished it.  Both loved it.  In particular, one liked it so much that she suggested/offered to do blog tours and release events on Facebook and the like.  

I was blown away by this reaction.  I knew she'd liked it after she finished my manuscript, but this is going wayyyyy above and beyond the call of duty.  She's positively giddy at the prospect of helping me out.  ME!  Who the hell am I?  Nobody!  BUT, I'd written something she liked to the point where she wants other people to share in the experience.  This came at a time (early this week as a matter of fact) when I was pretty down on myself.  I had an idea for a short story and had finally decided to write it and when things weren't just flowing from my fingers to the keyboard to the screen, I got highly upset with myself.  Not every day is going to be productive (Stephen King said that 'sometimes you feel as if you're in a chair, shoveling shit') but for some reason I was really down on myself.  And then this one beta starts messaging me about how much she's digging the book and once she was done, goes on to tell me that she's going to help me out when it comes time for it to go out into the world.  It made me feel good.  It made me feel REAL gooood, uh huh, uh huh (that's a Stripes reference for those of you not in the know.).  

So, seven out of ten people who have read/are reading the book like it.  These are people from all walks of life.  Some I know in person, some I've never met.  Some write, some read, some don't read.  The end result has been the same.  They've all enjoyed it.  What's more?  They've all taken the time to read something from a complete and utter nobody, sacrificing their own free time not knowing what in the blue hell they were going to get.  

You should see some of the detailed comments I've gotten.  It takes time to be a beta reader, folks.  They're not just skimming over shit.  They're going through it with a fine toothed comb, doing their best to make sure what you've written can be the best it can possibly be and some go well above and beyond the call, offering to use even more of their time to help spread the word about your work when they believe in it so strongly.  

Without beta readers, I'd imagine most indies would be dead in the water.  I know that's true about myself.  If you find some that are willing to do this, don't stop thanking them.  Never stop thanking them.  Thank them until they tell you to stop thanking them....then thank them some more.  They work their nether regions off to help us the fuck out and they may just be able to give you some much needed confidence when you think you're just churning out meaningless bullshit.  You can't put a price on that.

Nerves and Lunacon

Howdy, you few, you faithful, you poor unfortunates who clicked that 'next blog' button and just happened to end up here at Overly Verbose.  Welcome back or, welcome for the first time as the case may be.  What do I  have to say?  Not a whole hell of a lot, quite frankly but it's been well over a week since my last post so I figured I should put up something.

So, here goes.

Nerves: I has them.  My Urban Fantasy novel is now in the hands of five very generous beta readers.  One of the reasons I haven't been updating my blog regularly as of late (besides the blatant lack of anything interesting to say) is that I'd spent the last two weeks editing the crap out of it...literally and figuratively.   I'd written it when I didn't have much experience under my belt (*ahem* still don't /*ahem*) and man did it ever show!  While I didn't change any major story elements, it still took me two weeks go re read it and sometimes, change the way I'd gone about saying things line after line after line after line (getting the point?) after line after line.  By the time I was done I was staring at a sea of red.  BUT, I'll say it was worth it for sure.  The product I'd sent off to the Fearsome Five (my betas) was much better than what I'd originally written.  So, why the nerves?   I'll tell you that...IN ANOTHER PARAGRAPH!

I've friended a lot of author-ish people on Facebook lately, so I snoop around and see what they're up to, what they're working on, etc., etc.  I see a lot of 'so excited about my new project! Best thing I've ever done to date!' and the like.  As for me?  I read something I've written, lean back, scratch my chin and say 'meh, it hasn't made me throw up yet'.  That's usually a good sign; it means I don't hate it.  But that's generally all the credit I give myself.  Sometimes I can't help but wonder if they're blowing smoke or they really believe in what they're doing that much?  Does the fact that I'm constantly wondering if the three or four thousand words I've just cranked out are complete and total shit mean that I ain't got the goods?  Does it mean that I'll forever be one of those 'indie guys' that well established authors snigger and flip boogers at behind their back?  This segues me into the part about the nerves...IN ANOTHER PARAGRAPH! (Note: I never said it would be the next paragraph up above..ha! Made ya look!)

So, I'm nervous because I'm on pins and needles wondering what the betas are going to say about my manuscript.  Will they find it totally FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition), the greatest thing since sliced bread (sliced bread is fantastic...big fan), or somewhere in between?  So far, I haven't heard from any of them...save one.  I'd gotten a text earlier today saying that if I did something unseemly to one of the characters in my book that they would 'visit me for an ass kicking'.  That made me feel good.  Great actually.  Why?  Because I'd written a character that they're enjoying.  I'd written a character that they would like to see more of!  So that made me feel nice.  

Now, to other things.

Lunacon.  A few friends of mine invited me (read: browbeat) to go to this fantasy convention in upstate New York called Lunacon.  Turns out, some of the lovely people over at Padwolf Publishing (publishers of Apocalypse 13 where my first short story 'Hollow' calls home--on sale now by the way!!!!) are going and would like me to be there.  This will be the first time I'll be meeting these folks who I've spoken to for so many years on Facebook and have had the distinct pleasure of being in an anthology with, so I'm very much looking forward to it.  I won't be presenting or signing or anything.  I'm just going to hang out with the gang and party and people watch (maybe there will be some voluptuous Cosplay female type personages there!) and have a good time.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll get discovered!  Or not.  In any event, it's gonna be fun!  If you're near Rye New York and happen to be going to Lunacon, say hi!  I'll be the heavyset guy with the shaved head.  

So, this turned out to be more verbose than I'd originally planned.  Hey, as the French say, say lah veee!!!  Once again, thanks for stopping by what I'm pretty sure is the very last webpage on the internet.   

Until next time, take care!

M.

Liebster Blog Award. I got nominated! Sorta...

Thank you Saoirse O'Mara for nominating me for the Liebster Blog Award!  What is the Liebster Blog Award you may ask?  It's an award for blogs with less than 200 followers that deserve to be looked at and followed.  If you've never heard of it, don't feel bad.  I had to look it up to.  

What does it entail?  I shall tell you!  I'm cool like that.  I have to offer up 11 random things about myself.  Then I have to answer 11 questions as posed to me by the person who nominated me.  THEN I have to pass it on to 11 other bloggers with questions of my own. That last part will be difficult because I don't even know 11 bloggers that fit the criteria.  I've put out the Bat-signal on Facebook for people who may be interested.  So, we'll see what happens with that!  I hope I get 11, otherwise I'll lose all street cred and get booted off of the internet...FOREVER!  Kidding...or am I?

Let's get started, shall we?

11 Random Facts About Moi.

1. I'm colorblind.  (If you ask me if I can only see in black and white I will seriously hurt you.)
2. I've never seen Gone With The Wind.
3. Blue is my favorite color.
4. I hate to fly.
5. I played lead guitar in a working cover band for three years.
6. I have several hermit crabs named after Star Trek characters.
7. I've seen the original Total Recall at least 128 times and it never gets old.
8. I was an award winning artist (drawing, etc) as a teenager.
9. When I was a wee lad, I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up.
10. I'm the youngest of four by 8 years.
11. My favorite group of all time is Iron Maiden.

My 11 Questions as Posed To Me By The Lovely Saoirse.

1. Cats or dogs?  Why?  Dogs.  We have an 8 year old Sheltie/Eskimo mutt named Dizzy.  Growing up we always had cats and I still dig them but now I'm allergic.
2. Where would you go on holiday if you could freely choose?   Italy.  If you couldn't tell by my last name, my heritage is from that big boot in the Mediterranean and I'd love to visit.  Of course, if you look at #4 above, I don't fly.  But that's what boats are for.  I like boats.  Yearrrrrhhhhh. 
3. What was your favorite book as a child?  I didn't have a particular favorite, but I'd always loved the Boxcar Kids growing up.  And anything with dinosaurs in it.
4. Which of your blog posts would you most like to have picked up by a newspaper?   Eek.  I primarily talk about myself on my blog (probably why I have next to zero followers).  In the interest of self-interest, I'd say any of the ones involving great reviews of my self published short story 'Words With Fiends'.  (On sale now!)
5. Which language(es) would you like to learn and why?  Italian, so I could follow through with my answer to question #2 above...as long as I get there on a boat!
6. Have you ever left your house in your pajamas?  Where were  you going? As an adult?  Um, no.  If it weren't for my wife and her meddling dog I may have though!  As a kid?  Sure.  Many times when I was sick as hell and was dragged to the doctor's office.
7. Why are you participating in this blog award? Because I'd like more followers.  I have shit to say and it's important, dammit!  That and I'd like to help out other bloggers who should have a healthy following as well.
8. Indie or traditional? (If you're not a writer, do you care how the books you read are published?) I'm indie.  Mostly because I don't have the patience to do submissions, write query letters and kiss ass only to have to wait months on end and have it be rejected.  As a reader?  I don't care how it's published as long as I'm entertained by the story.  There's a stigma against Indies it seems;that because they don't have a publisher they're 'second class writers'.  I think that's a crock of shit.  I've read plenty of independently published books that have been better than some traditionally published books.  True story.
9. If you could read the thoughts of just one person who would it be?  I'm going out of the box on this one:  my dog.  I'm convinced that animals have all the answers but they lack the vocal chords to communicate with.
10. Who would you like to write your obituary?  Why?  Oh, tough one!  I could go with my favorite author, the incomparable Ken Follett, but I think I'll take the fun path here.  Scott Nicholson.  His mind is a twisted, hysterical landscape of bizarre imagery and I think he'd write a fantastic one.
11. What would most likely be on your tombstone?  Wow.  Morbid.  Hmmm.  Probably "Here lies Matt Schiariti.  Loving Husband, Father, and Son.  You should have listened to the doctor when he said your cholesterol sucked."   

And that's all folks!  I haven't decided on my 11 questions yet as I'm waiting to see who's interested.  If I get bites by writers, I'll make some writing-specific questions.  There will be a couple doozies in there as well, I promise you that!  So far I have five takers:

John Green
Nic Echo
Amy Marshall
Randi Edwards
38 Caliber Reviews

I'm going to put the feelers out and when I get 11 I'll conjure up my questions and name the hapless souls involved.  It'll all be in the comments section.

Until next time!

UPDATE!

So I've got a fourth victim, erum, volunteer.  I'm not sure how much longer I have on this so in the interest of impatience and ignorance, I'm gonna post up my questions and just let it fly! 

This should be easy for them, as I have one question...IN 27 PARTS!!! I kid...honest....no, seriously...I'm just joking....here we go folks!

1. If you're a writer, tell us a little bit about any current projects you have going on.  If you're a blogger, give us a synopsis of what your blog's all about and what you'd like to accomplish with it.  If you're both then by all means answer both parts!
2. In 200 words or less, answer the following question:  Cake or Pie?
3. What are your pet peeves?
4. What are your favorite books/authors/genres?
5. If I asked you to lend me $20, would you, and do you have paypal?
6. What inspires you?  Answer in regards to writing, blogging, anything from your life.  Whatever you choose.
7. If you could be one household appliance, what would you choose to be and why?
8. Through a twisted turn of fate, you're given the choice to either be blind or deaf.  Which would you pick and why?
9. What would be your dream job?  (And don't say 'author'.  Since we're all bookish here, that's already assumed and if it's not, too bad)
10. If you could sit in a bar and toss back a drink with any writer from ANY time period, alive or dead, who would it be and what would you be drinking?
11. A train leaves Chicago at noon, heading east at 120 mph.  At the same time a duck leaves Philadelphia, heading west at 12 mph.  Where and when do they meet?  (This is obviously a joke, but if you can answer it and show me your backup calculations, you deserve this award.)
12. (This is the REAL #11)--If you could pick any one actor/actress to play you in the movie of your life, who would it be?   

And that's all folks!  Remember, I'll gladly pay you next Tuesday for some blog hits today!

Until next time, folks!

My FIRST INTERVIEW! Contest! Other stuff.

Howdy, everyone!  Me again.  This should be a pretty full edition of Overly Verbose.  I have a lot to say don't ya know.  I was going to post this last night but between a sick 6 year old, fussy one month old, sick wife, and trying to edit something, I didn't have the time.  Everyone's (miraculously) sleeping right now so I'm shoehorning it into my schedule.  

The biggest and coolest thing to discuss is having had my FIRST EVER INTERVIEW!  Amy Marshall over at A Diamond In the Dark happened to pick up Words With Fiends a few days back.  She also happened to love it!  She ALSO happened to ask me if I wanted to be interviewed on her page.  I just so happened to say yes!  That's right, people.  My FIRST interview EVAR!  How cool is that?  I'm still shocked at a couple of things here.  First off, that she liked it so much.  Second off, that she offered to have me as an interview on her page.  Seriously, things like this just don't happen to me.  Shock...I has it.  It was a really cool thing for her to do and I'm so appreciative for the opportunity.  Hop on over to her blog and check out the interview:  Writing A New Urban Legend.  There's even a preview of the story there prior to the Q & A.  Oh, she's also been cool enough to host a contest for me.  Just leave a comment after the interview and it'll enter you for a chance to win one of TWO FREE kindle copies of Words With Fiends!

In other business, the Vampire Bite Blog Hop hosted by Jolie DuPre at Precious Monsters went pretty well.  I got a bunch of hits here on Valentine's Day and the day after and even managed to rustle up a few followers as well  (you know who you are!).  Bloggers and hoppers left some pretty good comments for my short story Was, Am, Want To Be.  That made me feel groovy.  Thanks to everyone who stopped by and took the time to read the story and leave a comment.  I'm glad you enjoyed it!

So what am I doing now?  I'm knee deep in editing my Seth Gabriel novel (see the unedited prologue  here).  It's slow going, as I'm tearing into it with a fine toothed comb. So far, I'm about 25% into it. I've lost count but I think this will be the fourth time going through the mofo.  I'm usually a pretty good proofreader, having proofed several books for indie authors in the past year, but looking at my own work is another story.  While I did edit Words With Fiends on my own, this novel is completely different.  It's about ten times as long for one thing and it's told in the first person.  Second guessing myself has become the norm with this one.  About five or so beta readers have read it and liked it but still, I'm nervous.  Are my tenses right?  Is the punctuation spot on?  Is the grammar up to snuff?  Is it too descriptive?  Not descriptive enough?  Is everything consistent?  Readers and reviewers can be a hard bunch to please.  And they should be.  Speaking as a reader and reviewer myself, if I'm going to be plunking down money for a book, it had better be good.  I don't bash writers for mistakes, but I do rate their books accordingly.  It's not that I'm a grammar Nazi but formatting and grammatical errors do have the potential to take a person out of the story and some readers are more unforgiving than others.  Some can be downright brutal.  

What really worries me the most is that this is my first full length effort after self publishing Words With Fiends.  Not to toot my own horn or anything, but Words With Fiends has been pretty well received so far.  It's gotten 11 four and five star reviews on Amazon and is enjoying good reviews on Goodreads as well.  Additionally, I've had people message me on Facebook saying how much they liked it.  Not everyone writes reviews but I appreciate the feedback all the same.  Long story short, people like it.  It's not breaking any sales records but those who have read it have really enjoyed it.  So, the pressure is on to produce another good story that's engaging, well written, well edited, and just as polished.  That's why I'm second guessing myself so much.  You never get a second chance to make a first impression but what's probably even more important is being able to keep up a certain level of quality that people expect.  This is where my lack of confidence comes in.  Do I write well?  I don't think I'm half bad, and based on reviews and beta readers, others seem to think that I know what I'm doing.  What's more, I know I'm a good proofer/editor.  I've shown that on other people's books, so why not my own full length effort?  The time has come for me to get out of my own damn way.  I'm a reader and if I think the story reads well then maybe other people will too.  No more second guessing myself during the rest of this editing process.  Nobody who's beta read my Seth Gabriel book has had any issues with the story elements or how it's been written.  That should tell me something right there.  But, I'm stubborn like that I guess =)  I think it's time to grow some confidence, don't you?

Take care, thanks for stopping by, and hope to see you soon!

 

FREE story for Vampire Bites Blog Hop! Enjoy!

Howdy, all!  I know it's not technically Valentine's day yet (unless you live across the pond perhaps) but as I'm chained to a desk all day long, Monday through Friday, there is no way for me to make the 2 pm deadline tomorrow.  So, I'm posting my contribution now.  If you haven't read my last post (for shame on you!) or if you're just tripping onto my little portion of the blogosphere by mere chance (you poor, unfortunate soul) Jolie over at Precious Monsters (click that Vampire Bites Blog Hop button on the right of my page!) has been gracious enough to host a Valentine's Day blog hop.  The rules?  Post anything vampiric. Opinion piece, comments on vamp movies, whatever.  I have written a story for the occasion.  It's not that I'm that big into vampires (or Valentine's for that matter) but I do like to write.  I came up with an idea and ran with it.  I truly hope you enjoy it!  If not, it's short and there won't be many minutes of your life that you'll be begging to have back by the end.  =)  For the few of you who follow me, thanks in advance for reading!  For any of you happening upon my blog as a result of hopping around the blog hop, I hope you enjoy the story and find something of value here should you click around a bit.  

So, without any further ado, here's the story.  Happy reading and hopping!

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Was, Am, Want to Be

By

Matt Schiariti

I pulled my cab around the back of the old firehouse.  Parking was a little harder to come by than I’d anticipated, but I found a spot quickly enough.  Judging by the number of cars, it was going to be a packed house tonight.  It didn’t help matters any that I was nearly twenty minutes late.

My fare had been hell bent on getting to a club on Delaware Avenue as quickly as possible.  Usually not a problem, but there was some kind of Valentine’s Day shindig  at one of the dance clubs being sponsored by a local radio station which made traffic a bitch.  Of course, my fare and I took a few minutes to have a little drink together.  Not one of my finer moments, but what can I say?  I’m weak.  But that’s also why I was here.  I needed all the help I could get.

Rain poured down in sheets and by the time I made my way into the firehouse, I was soaking wet.  My denim jacket was three shades deeper than normal and my white sneakers looked a depressing shade of gray.

As I made my way down into the basement, I could hear the muffled sounds of someone speaking.  I double checked my watch.  Yep, twenty minutes late.

Aiden was gonna be pissed.

I opened the double doors that led into the auditorium as quietly as I could.  Seemed like they’d been oiled lately; not a squeak.  Score one for me.

About a dozen people sat in wooden folding chairs, the kind that you find at church functions.  Some were familiar faces, some were new to me.  I’d only been coming here for a month or so, but you could tell between the hard cases and the fly-by-nighters.  The woman standing at the wooden podium at the front was a regular.  She was speaking softly, to the point where I almost couldn’t hear her.  Don’t let the soft spoken voice fool you though.  I’d seen her speak before and she had a quiet ferocity about her.  When she spoke, you could tell that she was going to lick this thing.

As for me?  The jury was still out.

My wet sneakers made tiny squeaking sounds as I tried to sneak my way into the back row.  You’d think someone like me would be fleeter of foot.  A few people looked in my direction but at least Aiden wasn’t one of them.

I found a seat all the way in the back, just like in high school, and sat down.

Just when I thought I’d gotten in scot-free, Aiden turned around and looked directly at me.  He wasn’t pleased.

Built like a fireplug, Aiden was a Philly Detective and a damn good one.  He was also as tough as nails. Everything a newbie could want in a sponsor.

I waved lamely at him.

His scowl deepened.

He walked over to me.

“Nice of you to join us, Jake,” he said, sitting down next to me.  “You’re only, what, a half hour late this time?”

“Twenty two minutes by my watch,” I said, just as quietly.  “Sorry, I had a fare that wanted a ride all the way to Del Ave to go clubbing…”

“Stow it,” he said.  A man of few words, when Aiden said something, you listened.

He looked at me more intently.  “What the hell.  Is that what I think it is?” he asked, pointing at my face.

“What?  Do I have a booger or something?”  I wiped at my face.  Looking at my hand, I saw the angry streak of color left behind.  Red.  I almost laughed.  Red!  I used to like lots of red things.  Johnny Walker Red, Killain’s Irish Red…life’s not without its little ironies.

“You know you’re supposed to call me if you get the urge.  That’s what sponsors are for,” he scolded, shaking his bald head. 

I shrugged.

“You going up there tonight?”  He nodded at the podium.

“You think I should?”  Public speaking wasn’t my bag.  I was happier being a spectator.

“Up to you.  But you should work the program.  I ain’t gonna force you, but I think it would do you some good.  Especially since…” he said, gesturing to my face.

“Maybe you’re right,” I sighed.

Scattered applause broke up our little tete-a-tete.  The quiet, determined woman who’d been speaking was finished.

Aiden patted me on the shoulder. I made my way up to the front and situated myself behind the podium.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed...

Changed…interesting choice of words.

“Hi…”

...courage to change the things which should be changed...

Not much I could do to about what I’d become, but I didn’t have to let it rule me either.

“…my name is Jake and I’m a….”

...and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

I know who I was.  I know what I am.  I know who I want to be.

“…My name is Jake and I’m a vampire.”

Scattered replies of ‘Hi Jake’ filled the small auditorium.

“It’s been…it’s been about an hour since I’ve last fed on a human.” 

There.  I’d finally said it.  I bowed my head and closed my eyes.  A strange combination of relief at admitting my nature - what I’d done - and guilt for the very same reasons coursed through my body like a sluggish current.  Everyone at the meeting knew what I was but I’d finally acknowledged it, out loud.  That’s always the first step, isn’t it?  Admitting the problem?

“One hour at a time...” said someone.

“One day at a time…” said another.

“One step at a time…” chimed in yet another.

I may be a vampire.  I may have an awful thirst for human blood, even though I can live off of just about anything mammalian.  But those things don’t define me.  I won’t let them.

I may be a vampire, but I don’t have to be a monster.

END

Vampire Bite Blog Hop--Feb 14th, 2013

You may notice a new little button over to the right there (---->).  Jolie Du Pre of Precious Monsters is sponsoring a special Valentine's Day event: a blog hop.  Now, I admit that I had no idea going in what the hell a blog hop was but Julianne Snow was not only kind enough to bring it to my attention, but to explain to me what it was all about.  

Myself, along with a few dozen other bloggers, are going to be putting the Vampire in V-day this year.  The super popular undead archetypes don't make up a huge portion of my reading list.  Yes, a few of the series I have read and are currently reading (Jim Butcher's 'The Dresden Files' and Kim Harrison's fantastic 'Hollows' series, JR Rain's 'Samantha Moon' series) feature vampires, and one of my favorite novels ('The Historian' by Elizabeth Kostova) feature the always pale blood suckers, but with the market being so saturated by the ever mysterious, brooding, hyper sexy undead, I'm a little tired of the fangers.  I don't hate vampires, but let's just say I've been taking a little break from them.

But, just because I'm not reading a slew vampire-centric books these days doesn't mean I'm opposed to writing them.  In point of fact, the first short story I'd ever written was a little vampire ditty; one I hope to eventually release (once I get around to editing it) in an anthology of horror/dark fiction/supernatural short stories I plan to self-publish (also eventually--once I get around to writing a few more stories!).  

Where am I going with all of this?  Well, according to the Vampire Bite Blog hop rules, the participants are to post something (anything, really) about vampires.  Could be an opinion piece on vamps; could be a blog about a favorite vampire movie;could be a promotion for an upcoming vampire novel, etc, etc...you get the point.  So what am I going to do?  

I'm going to be posting a free short story that I've written especially for the blog hop.  Who doesn't like a free story, right?  I wanted to get involved somehow.  This here blog could benefit from the extra traffic =)  And who knows?  The dozen or so of you reading this may happen upon another of the participating bloggers and find a new author to read!  No harm in that.

So stay tuned.  I'll most likely be posting the story on Feb. 13th as I'll be working on Valentine's day and won't be able to post it then, thus getting me kicked off the blog hop.  And we wouldn't want that now would we!

I do hope you enjoy the story (which, as of right now, has a title that's still up in the air) and the blog hop!  See you on Valentine's day and hope we can put a little bite into Hallmark's favorite holiday.